(Long post ahead…) Oh, the power of a fart. K was happy all morning and after her afternoon nap she woke up crying and had a fussy afternoon. She’d fuss, fart, then smile. It was the mantra of her day.
Since K’s day was pretty uneventful other than the normal eat, sleep, party, poop, there’s something else I wanted to share!
The last few days I’ve come across multiple articles on Facebook about “crying it out” and cosleeping. I’ve mentioned before that we do cosleep and that I am not a fan of cry it out.
When I was pregnant, I did a lot of research on the cry it out method so I could understand A.) what it was and B.) if it was something I’d do. We decided not to, and while everyone has their reasons one way or the other – here’s ours:
- Leaving a baby to cry it out creates high blood pressure and unnecessary stress.
- Responding to their cry creates trust that you’ll meet their needs. (This comes into play a lot with the “Fourth Trimester” I posted about a while back!)
- You cannot spoil a baby. They’re crying for a reason, and sometimes that reason may just be that they want to be held. They’re carry mammals.
- Babies that were not left to cry it out were found to be more intelligent, confident and independent later in life. (Independent is a surprising one, huh?)
- And the most simple answer, I can’t deal with listening to her cry and not responding. My body was not wired for that one! I know I usually seem like I have my shit together, but that’s one thing that used to put me straight into anxiety mode.
While I have put her down while she cried just for my sanity, I’ve never left her there more than a couple of minutes. (And for those that have only seen happy Kens and don’t think she cries, check months 1-3 on the blog. My child loved to CRY!)
Most people have been very kind and supportive to me as a first time mom, but I’ve also had a handful of smart ass comments along the way. I usually brush them off with a “yeah, ok” and carry on doing what I choose to do. Kens is at the gym for hours at a time each day and I’ve gotten a few of the “you know it’s ok if she cries” and “you can let her cry you don’t have to pick her up every time.” I won’t go into my reasons because that could be a separate blog post itself; but, if you’re considering saying that to me, save your breath.
We’re only 5 months in, and as long as she’s not tired or hungry, Kensie will entertain herself for 30-45 minutes at a time before she needs a change of scenery. When she’s being held she tries to get down or reach for things on her own. She becomes more and more independent every single day. Sure,when she’s tired she wants to be held or at least a hand to hold while she falls asleep, but give her a break. She was IN ME for 10 months!
Co-sleeping is an issue that I have a similar response to. Before I had a baby, I wasn’t sure if it was something I’d do because all I heard were the dangers of it. What I didn’t know was all the benefits to it, if done safely! This is something we naturally started when Kensie came home from the hospital. She’d sleep in her crib for a little, and when she woke to eat she’d fall asleep in my arms. If I set her back in the crib, she’d cry.
My options were hold her and sleep, or stay up all night attempting to make this little human that just came out of my warm belly, sleep alone in a large, cold “box” all alone. I went with cosleeping immediately. When she was really little, I kept her in her boppy next to me so we wouldn’t roll over on her. Now that she’s bigger, she sleeps on my arm.
Something about being right next to me visibly calms her down and keeps her relaxed. Now that she’ll go back to her crib if I want her to, some nights I put her back after she eats. However, she’s always slept longer if I let her come in bed with us. (And again, this made a lot of sense to me once I learned about the 4th trimester!)
A few months ago I sent a SnapChat to a friend of Kensie still asleep at 9a and she was in my arm. She asked if we coslept and I told her in the middle of the night when she wakes up to eat, I move her to our bed and she sleeps in later than I do! Her baby was 6-7 months at the time and she’d never tried it. Sure enough, her baby slept through the night!! There’s legitimate research on it if your interested, but cosleeping is the norm in other countries and their infant mortality rate is way lower than ours!
The reality is, regardless of the facts, it’s what I’m comfortable with and no mom should be ashamed of what they choose or scared to admit it.
Speaking of sleeping, Kensie can officially put her own pacifier in her mouth now as well. When she feels like it at least…if she’s cranky she fusses and closes her eyes and holds her mouth open like she’s Stevie Wonder. 🙄Last night she threw it across her crib, unswaddled herself, took her blanket off and slept on her side. Ok girl. You do you.